Being embarrassed about what we love, and enjoy.

Everybody is an individual. Everybody loves different things, hates different things, and everybody has defining qualities,traits and passions in their life, and it is these things that make us, well, us. So why do so many of us shy away from expressing our love for certain things in life?


This in’t some sort of inspirational, preach-post where I tell you all about how I let the entire world and everybody I come accross know about the things that I love, and that you should too, because I am one of the people who struggle to be completely honest about the things that I enjoy. And i’m not even talking about big or even important things. I’m talking about never mentioning random things that I enjoy to people that I know, such as my passion for Dark Souls, autumn, writings poems and random silly articles like this one here, live streaming on twitch etc. Of course some people know about the things that I deeply love, however I find myself being very cautious about who finds these things out. For example, the people that I work with, my family, and some friends will never find out about this post, because I’ll make sure that they don’t see it pop up on social-media outlets and what not. But I ask myself, why do I do that? Even if they saw this post or whatever else it could be that I’m posting, they probably wouldn’t care about it enough to read it. And even if they did, what’s the worse that could happen? They could laugh, or find it strange that I enjoy doing what I do, but I know that doesn’t matter. It’s just acting like I know, that is the hard part haha. It’s easy to make it sound so dramatic, but in reality it’s the complete opposite. I just find it so bizarre and I guess, stupid. The things that we love concoct with other factors, such as our personalities, to ultimately define us. To give us our individualism. So why shy away from it? It’s very hypocritical of me to say this as someone who as I mentioned, struggles with it myself, but I think that we should all embrace the things that we love and let that passion and love radiate off of us, for it can only do good. Keeping my biggest passions locked up for the majority of the people I come accross is just me limiting myself. I strongly feel that if I was to be more open and unafraid of who I was, then I’d be a lot more motivated, inspired and ultimately, happy.


In the end, i’m scared of judgement. It’s funny too, because I know all too well that this is a terrible way to live. To hide your passions away and pretend that they’re not a part of you is kind of ridiculous. I see a lot of people that I know present their passions so openly to the world. Showcasing their talent so often with no sense of shame or embarrassment is really inspiring to see, and I can only hope to use that inspiration to try to improve my own self confidence as time goes on.


Embers – A tribute to ‘Dark Souls’.

The embers were dancing. Such coordination and glowing grace to fill only one man’s eyes with beauty. The fallen cinders sat below and spectated; their dying breaths used to be reminded of what they once were. At the centre of the performance, stood a steel long sword, the heart and soul of the embers. Though engulfed by the scolding dancers that had been recently en-kindled It possessed a firm stance, with an aura of pride and protection about it; nothing would be hurt here. A safe haven for the endangered, comfort for the hunted and a beacon for the lost, however the amenity found in this decrepit land would soon be left behind. For he who wishes to link the first fire and break the undead curse must venture forth into the unknown, leaving divine embers behind.

Sunflower Bean at the Nottingham Bodega Social club.

Two hours before I began writing this I had just finished having the pleasure of being in the presence of ‘Sunflower Bean’s’ absolutely brilliant show at the Bodega social in Nottingham. A sold out venue quickly filled when ‘Husky Loops’ a three piece indie outfit from London hit the stage for a thirty minute set, as well as when the main act Sunflower Bean hit the stage at 9PM.

Sunflower Bean revealed themselves, introducing themselves with the track ‘Human Ceremony’, the first track and title track off of the debut album ‘Human Ceremony’ which released earlier in February 2016. The band were on point for the entire night, rapidly generating needed energy within the room with up beat tracks in which some of were played faster than the studio versions such as ‘Tame Impala.’Wall Watcher’ and ‘This Kind Of Feeling’. Once the energy was crafted and spun around the room, it did not leave. The crowd were webbed. Lead vocalist and Bassist Julia Cumming maintained a great connection with the spectators at hand by coming down into the crowd, aswell as constantly having a laugh with fans and laughing and replying to fan comments such as “Marry me Julia.” which really allowed for a feeling of one between the New York based trio and the crowd. Overall, a friendly and easy feeling was present in the upper floor of the Bodega during the gig.


Sunflower Bean are limited in their arsenal of songs to play, due to only having one album and one E.P. However a variety of pace was achieved by the group. As well as the up-beat tracks I mentioned previously, mesmerizing and more down-tempo songs such as ‘Somebody Call A Doctor’ were used to please the crowd. Sunflower Bean completed their explosive ten song set, before returning for a final song which the crowd of course so longingly wanted. The trio played confidently and accurately, all while maintaining a positive and very apparent energy through out the evening.


The gig concluded, and the group came out where the crowd stood to meet with fans, take pictures and just generally socialize which is always brilliant to see. The energy, and the friendly aura of the room continued to be present well after the set was over.


Overall Sunflower Bean played a solid set of brilliant songs from their debut album, as well as their previous E.P. They kept the crowd interested throughout, maintaining a special level of excitement and buzz throughout and for this reason I would definitely recommend going to witness Sunflower Bean live on one of their few remaining dates across the U.K.


As I floated, carelessly internally, paranoid externally, I involuntarily consumed the blizzards faeces.

The bell tolled, they spilled their secrets.

A door opened.

A touch, I cried.

I’ve touched the edge of the world,

and yet felt that my journey had never begun.

Lost souls voyage to unknown lands.

I found my soul…

So vibrant, however tasted bland.

Those who saw the future laughed,

and those from the past showed me a collage.

Optimism is what I gathered, but somehow traded it along for some regret and pessimism.

A mystery man wearing silk robes threw in some years as a bonus.

When you know how to play a song, but can’t read the music.

A frustrating talent.

Tears of joy?

Like an oxymoron, but spoken in actions.

In Retrospect.

A retrospective blimp,

dominating the sky of my body.

The present is paused,

while the opening of a door,

takes me on a unique kind of tour.

I joyously jog, or I tearfully trudge,

down a lane in which many are familiar with.

Held dear, for various reasons,

for many, this lane committed treason.

Different experiences, happen in separate seasons,

a quick escape from any situation,

the number one cause of procrastination.

The reason I lay awake at  night,

staring into black, but visualising in colours.

You’ll always be my dear friend,

my arch-enemy.

My motivation,

my buzz kill.

The love of my life.